no photo

if they ever invent some system that uses your actual eyes for a camera and somehow stores images on an SD card implant in your brain or something like that, i'll be the first to volunteer...the things you miss, no matter how fast on the draw you are with your camera, there are 100 things a day that pass by un-shot.


<--- this was my attempt at photographing the squirrel in the windowsill of my studio...

maps, directions

a crude map found in the back of a desk drawer...directions to someone's house, hastily jotted down, ink smudged. on the back is part of a cartoon king, in red ink. part of a tire advertisement , perhaps? there are three pin-holes...indicating it was hung up and taken down from a bulletin board or a wall at least a few times, and the bottom left-hand corner is stained with what i assume is coffee...

the ugly part of fall...

dear mr./ms. politician,

you want my vote? well, it may help if you stop sending me all this crap in the mail, or hanging from my doorknob. every single day, i get another armload of junk that nobody ever reads - it goes straight in the bin. and stop cluttering up the landscape with your crappy, artless signs - fall is supposed to be the prettiest time of year, but instead, i have to look at all of your shitty signs everywhere i turn. you are generating TONS litter, both physically and visually.

x2

i sometimes lay the piece down on the floor to look at it, and then i start walking around it, then i will walk on the piece itself. then my feet turn purple, or green or whatever.

time is still a luxury. i really wanted to finish another one this afternoon, but it looks like i won't have time before work. maybe i should hire a stunt double to handle certain tasks . a midget one...do you think anyone would notice if i had a midget stunt double? they'd be all like "hey man, does he look shorter than usual today?" "nah, he's always been that short..."

then i could spend my days breathing paint fumes or riding my bike

statement...

it may look like chaos, but every single fucking drop, splotch, scrape, splash and slash is there by design. my heart and soul go fully into each piece, along with sweat, blood and even some tears. i destroy all of my brushes, so i never buy nice ones and i use mostly whatever kind of material i can find - i despise paying for art supplies - especially canvas. thursday trash night is when i do most of my shopping. building value is a great source for materiel as well.

the filth of the city is one of my muses and i am obsessed with her dirty little secrets as well as her crumbling infrastructure. on the other hand, i love nature - especially when nature reclaims what man has wrought - trees growing through the cracks in the concrete of an abandoned reservoir, a hawk's nest in a burned-out church steeple or a root pushing a sidewalk out of place.

moonage daydream....

i can't recall the last time i noticed the moon. I go to work before it comes out and don't get off until it's gone. finding the time to make this stuff is becoming difficult. I miss my mornings - i feel like i do my best work in the morning. perhaps there's some connection there with all the saturday morning kid's art things i went to beginning when i was like 3 or 4 years old...

it's probably just the heat and the spray can fumes...

i wonder what it would be like to have just one whole day a week where i don't have to be somewhere or do something at some certain time? grind, grind, grind...be here, do this, do that...i just want to stay in my studio and paint some days, but i always have to stop what i'm doing and go do stuff like work, etc... or better yet, be one of those fucking rich artist types who don't actually have to go sweat in some kitchen every day so you can afford the crap you need to make more art that you can't afford to properly market so it sells and you can maintain your artsy-fartsy lifestyle...

or maybe i just want to go ride my bike or hang out on the stoop...whatever. I don't have time for me anymore...my sleep patterns are completely fucked up too - i haven't been to bed earlier than 4:30 for two weeks now, but still have to get up early and do shit. some days i run on two hours of sleep and a pop-tart.
.

i'd take a nap right now, but i have to be somewhere.

it's raining sideways

five minutes ago, it was raining at the city steps at glen parker, but not at my house just a few houses down from there. heh..."city steps", one of those weird localisms. like "viaduct", "the lateral", "the lockland split" and "sled-riding" (everybody else calls it "sledding").

saw a guy with a hand-stenciled t-shirt yesterday that read: "quit work - make art"...i fucking wish. because unless you're independently wealthy, or some well-connected bullshit artist, then you're pretty much fucked.

still, i keep trying. i paid $15 for a "booth" (a ten foot by ten foot patch of grass). spent at least $150 on various materials in preparation, not to mention my precious time investment, (which can't be counted in dollars). i sold a $25 painting and two $3 magnets for a day's gross sales of $31. that tallies to a loss of $119.

but hey, i got a lot of compliments. :)

i'm trying to make a bunch of small "sellable" things for this art sale this weekend, and i'm just not very good at it. i really just don't like "forcing" my art...i just let it happen (works with soup, too). this is why i flunked out of design school twice - not because I can't do it, i just won't. and i hate deadlines and such, or having to do certain things at certain times. like, why can't they pick up my trash when I want them too? why do i have to remember to take out my trash on thursday night...usually after drinking?

ANYWAY - I'm just saying I don't like time constraints or expectations for my work. it's mine.





mine.

welcome to amatuer hour

..yeah, just realizing that i should get myself a real website. fuck, i hate the bullshit and business side of the art thing...



this one dedicated to the painted over shepard fairey murals around cincy.
(c) 2010

acrylic & collage on found commercial print

48" x 19"

i want the earth to slow down it's rotation so that there will be more hours in the day (plus we'd all weigh a lot less)

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?,. sxdcgvbjmnkbv mk,;lkjnbhgvbhnmkjgvfcdfgyhjk78909i63w27890p-oujhytgfcdxch

^never mind all of that above stuff...I was just cleaning my keyboard - a spur of the moment OCD thing...i do these things.


what happens when that thing you do becomes more than just something you do...when it becomes a necessity rather than a preference? when it becomes all i want to do, and fuck a bunch of jobs and people and places and things? some days i feel less like this than others, but i'm always thinking that I should be painting. unfortunately the production requires consumption which requires an income, and since i can't rely solely on the income from what i do, i have to do other stuff. it's a sick cycle; consume-produce-consume-produce...and hopefully once in a while SELL something. it's nice to sell stuff, but not really for the money - i could give a fuck about how much money i get for a piece, but the fact that somebody wants to hang my shit on their wall means infinitely more, but I'm not stupid and I ain't givin' it away either. well, that's all the time I have for this thing - i have work to do!

does the rollercoaster ever just ride along for a while on a high plane?

...or does it always have to come back down? the inevitability of the eventual descent always keeps us on our toes, i suppose. the higher you get, the farther you fall, so i try not to let it go as high as the last high point, because the ride went all the way through hell, so i can't even imagine how bad it gets beyond hell. oh well, enjoy the ride and hope it slows to a crawl, so the next downhill adventure is a long way in the future....

Thanks, Hamilton County

Well, January 11 came, and I still never really got my "day in court", thanks to Anthony Kirkland and a bloated, nearsighted county justice system. As for the final results of this mess...well, it's not what we had hoped for, but at least it is over with. Basically, I had to take a plea deal, as the judge in my case had drawn a big high-profile case and they were trying to clear his docket. If I hadn't taken the deal, the case would have been continued until April 27, and I would have had to remain on electronic monitoring. So, in the interest to getting back to as normal a life as possible, I copped to a misdemeanor, resulting in a sentence of 1 -2 years of "community control" (probation), and restitution + costs. It sucks, but it is what it is, and though standing up there and entering a guilty plea to this nonsense was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, I felt it was the best choice for me, since the house arrest was far more restrictive than probation - four more months on it would have bankrupted me, because I couldn't work any more than my scheduled hours, and had little free time to go look for secondary employment. All of this, of course has destroyed any faith I had in our justice system, and feel like I have been put through a ringer, but given my lack of resources, and having to use a public defender (who really did the best he could), I guess thing could have been worse.

P.S.
Boycott Portofino - that guy is a complete asshole.

oh-nine

well...let's see. 2009.


well, i spent the first three months homeless and on the lam. then i got an apartment and was still on the lam, but i was working 50-60 hours a week. then i went to jail for 46 days. then i got out but was placed on (and still on) EMD (ankle bracelet), as a result, i can only work my scheduled hours, so i make about 40% less than before, and have been struggling financially as well. i suppose with all that i could say the year pretty much sucked.

on the other hand....through everything shitty that happened, i found that i have the most amazing, awesome friends that anyone could ask for, even my "casual acquaintances" are awesome. because of you folks, i have been able to maintain a positive attitude through all of this, and live as fully as possible, despite everything. I have also made some great new friends this year.

i moved into a great place, probably the most awesome place i've ever had, with the best roomate i've ever had. I went back to my job at The Hideaway - as a full time guy, rather than just a few nights a week guy, where i get to be as creative as i want, and make really awesome food.

2009 has also been my most productive year artistically, ever. by my count, i have completed some 30 paintings. had a show where i sold several, and have sold a few others, including the largest, priciest piece i have ever sold.

and the bengals are actually good this year. and the bearcats.






I'm not going to play this one in a minor key...